Seldon spoke with Danielle Horwich, a Los Angeles social worker, to find out more why baby boomer divorces are happening. Horwich said, "While there are no easy answers, there may be some obvious reasons behind the demise of a long and (what appeared to be) happy marriage." She points to three main reasons that long-term marriages sometimes collapse:
- Connection lost: If you've spent any time on a cell phone lately, you know what it means when someone says they "lost the connection." Family is not like that. Sometimes it is hard to identify the point at which a connection between husband and wife dropped to minimal levels. Many couples experience it when their children grow up and live their own lives. The transition can be the point at which couples "no longer recognize and understand the partner they married," says Horwich.
- Mid-life crisis: Between 40 and 65, many begin asking themselves the big life questions--Am I living the life I was made for? Am I achieving success? Am I leaving the world a better place? As couples walk this path some find that their answers exclude their mate while others find it an inspiration to grow together.
- Can't cope: As we age, life can bring unanticipated changes such as health concerns, caring for aging parents, empty nest, and losing loved ones. "If a couple doesn’t have the coping skills necessary to make it through a major traumatic event, it could lead to a breakdown between the two of them."
Looking at these three potential marriage problems for baby boomers should make couples realize that sliding hard into their middle years can bring injury to relationships. Learning to be flexible, envisioning the next step of life together, and working hard to make those goals happen can protect a couple. Horwich sums it up nicely by saying, “Conflict is inevitable, yet how the couple manages this conflict will be essential to their success.”
For more than 25 years, Charles D. Jamieson, a Board Certified Family and Marital Law Attorney, has assisted clients in protecting their families and assets during the chaos and upheaval in their divorces. To schedule a consultation or learn more about his firm, visit his website at: http://www.cjamiesonlaw.com.