May 1, 2013

Behaviors That Help Your Kids During Divorce

Role Model Behavior during a Florida Divorce

Experienced family law attorneys from Jupiter to Wellington know that getting divorced brings a multitude of unknowns which can lead to a time filled with raw emotions, deep grief and out of control feelings. When this situation presents itself, whether the split was wanted or not, behaviors can sometimes get out of hand during divorce. The Chicago Tribune offered an article by Jen Weigel that features practical tips on behaviors to help your children through this difficult time.

  • Don't criticize: You may have bad feelings towards your spouse but don't share those in front of your children. Linda Perry, founder of Divorce Consultants in Chicago says, "If you talk bad about the spouse, this puts kids in a position to defend the other parent." If you need to have a place to off-load some of these intense feelings, go to a good friend, a counselor or spiritual leader.
  • Admit mistakes: We all make mistakes and being able to share that with your kids is an important way to model positive living. Perry says, "Own your mistakes... If you do something you're not proud of around your kids, say 'I didn't handle that properly'." Communicating how you might handle it better in the future helps you form a plan and gives them a model for what to do when emotions get the best of us.

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  • Communicate face-to-face: In this day and age, information can be passed by the speed of light through technology. It is a perfect platform for communicating information such as a meeting time or location. It is, however, an irresponsible place to communicate emotionally-charged matters. Without the ability to ask for clarification, to read body language and to hear voice intonation, e-mail or text can lead to major misunderstandings. If you are too "upset to speak in person," Perry recommends getting a third party to assist.

The bottom line here? Be the adult. Your kids don't need you to be perfect but they need to see that there are ways to communicate honestly, to resolve conflict effectively and to learn from mistakes. They want to know that you will keep them safe from too many negative feelings and actions, even during this extremely complicated time. You can do it, for them.


Board Certified Marital and Family Law Attorney Charles D. Jamieson understands that divorce is an extremely sensitive and important issue. Thanks to extensive experience and a focus on open communication, Attorney Jamieson adeptly addresses the complex issues surrounding divorce while delivering excellent personal service. To discuss divorce in Florida, please contact The Law Firm of Charles D. Jamieson, P.A. or call 561-478-0312.


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