March 8, 2016

Coparenting and Birthdays During and After Your Divorce

Coparenting and Birthdays During and After Your Divorce

Making your child’s birthday a special day for them can be challenging when you are a divorced parent. Thinking ahead and doing some strategic planning often helps couples get through the situation without sacrificing their child’s happiness.

The best advice is to incorporate the topic of coparenting and birthdays into your parenting plan up front. That way the details and potential problems have already been addressed.

In doing so, be sure to consider the following:

  • Maintain the focus on your child. This day, at all times, should be about your child. Don’t let any conflict between the two of you adults bleed into the festivities and don’t make it about what you want.
  • Consider alternative solutions as to how your child can celebrate with both parents.  While it would be seemingly idyllic to celebrate this day together, that may not be a wise decision. Remember that it is not just about one day, but rather the underlying significance. Be flexible and consider having one parent celebrate on a different day. Or, split up the duties with one parent attending the party at school and the other handling the party at home. Work together to come up with a way that you can all join in the celebration and maintain harmony.
  • Don’t make it feel like it is one parent versus another. Be enthusiastic in front of your child about whatever birthday time they spend with the other parent and gifts received from your ex-spouse.

Determine Best Approach to Coparenting Now with a Family Law Assessment.

Birthdays represent one of a myriad of issues that divorced couples who have decided to co-parent will face. Co-parents should adopt a consistent strategy for approaching any of these situations that includes:

  • Committing to cooperation. The whole point of co-parenting is working together to achieve a mutually agreeable solution that allows your child to maintain stable relationships with both of you. Keep that in the forefront of your mind when confronting situations.
  • Keep the lines of communication open and flowing. By putting everything (issues, plans, schedules, etc.) in writing and providing it to your ex-spouse, you will remain on the same cooperative path.
  • Dial down the background noise. Everybody has an opinion on how you should parent, particularly when times get rocky. Be sure that the people who are in charge of the cooperative decision making process are you and your ex-spouse. Should you need assistance for resolutions, consider enlisting the services of an experienced mediator.

Co-parenting can be challenging, but the potential benefits it provides to you and your children are worth the work. In the end, the happiness and well-being of your children will be the ultimate reward.


Board Certified Marital and Family Law Attorney Charles D. Jamieson understands that divorce is an extremely sensitive and important issue. Thanks to extensive experience and a focus on open communication, Attorney Jamieson adeptly addresses the complex issues surrounding divorce while delivering excellent personal service. To discuss your divorce or other family law matters, please contact The Law Firm of Charles D. Jamieson, P.A. online or call 561-478-0312.


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