When you have children, divorce is the end of the marriage, but is not the end of your relationship with your ex-spouse. You will always be connected as parents of your children. The post-divorce period requires parents to develop new, sometimes untraditional, ways to relate and communicate with one another for the health and happiness of those children.
Deanna Glick, a Huffington Post blogger, recently shared how she and her ex-husband remain a family- both caring for their daughter when she's sick, taking her to the doctor, paying for camp, going grocery shopping and attending her Little League games. They still talk and spend time together. The couple opted to divorce through mediation, which resulted in an arrangement where there exists no contact schedule (custody arrangement), no court-approved timesharing schedule (visitation), no alimony or child support. It sounds like a revolutionary idea, but it is an option for those who wish to co-parent and focus on minimizing the negative impact of divorce. It works for Ms.Glicka nd her husband because they remain committed to the best interest of their children, communication, and successful co-parenting.
If you plan to pursue a healthy co-parenting relationship like the Glicks, there are numerous things to consider:
- Understand that there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Every couple is different. What worked for your neighbor, sister, co-worker, etc., may not be right for you. Be willing to explore a variety of different options and customize your parenting plan to suit your needs and goals as parents.
- Recognize that you will continue to disagree, but establish that you will not let your own differences interfere with your ability to parent together. Look to the long-term, and do whatever you can to transition so you can move beyond the pain of divorce. Your energy should be focused on the emotional health of your children.
- Consider utilizing a mediator. This takes the process of resolving parenting disagreements out of the court’s hands and allows parents, which the help of an informed expert, come up with their own plan and goals.
- Make rules for yourselves as parents. Set up a parenting schedule you will follow. Have a procedure you will follow in order to make changes to the schedule.
- View co-parenting as a job and the other parent as a co-worker you may not particularly like. Think of how you conduct yourself with colleagues at work. You control your emotions and focus on the business at hand, because you know success can only come through professional conduct.
- Make important decisions about your child together. Talk about choices of schools, medical procedures and behavior problems and try to work out together what will work best for your child.
- Be flexible and pick your battles. This is not about winning, but compromise. That’s what will ultimately result in peace of mind and stability for your children.
- Create rules that the child must follow at both houses. Consistency is important for your child.
- Constantly ask yourself, “what’s best for my child?” If you ask that first, your decision-making process will be clear and at its most effective.
Divorce attorneys in West Palm Beach, Jupiter and throughout Palm Beach County acknowledge that the best protector of children emerging from a divorce with the least negative impact is the type of co-parenting which their parents follow. Clearly, attempting to implement these nine co-parenting recommendations would be in your children’s best interest.
Board Certified Marital and Family Law Attorney Charles D. Jamieson understands that divorce is an extremely sensitive and important issue. Thanks to extensive experience and a focus on open communication, Attorney Jamieson adeptly addresses the complex issues surrounding divorce while delivering excellent personal service. To discuss divorce in Florida, please contact The Law Firm of Charles D. Jamieson, P.A.The Law Firm of Charles D. Jamieson, P.A. or call 561-478-0312.
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